The shota's life!
by PsychoPocky
Summary: Xiahou Ba's life is always full of misfortunes, swearings, and also trolls. new author, bad summary. enjoy!


_Cao wao~ Pocky here! This is my first XiahoucoughShotacoughBa fanfic. Hope ya' all enjoy this. Sorry if there are some couples that annoys you all and also grammars which are wrong. Yucchi, if you please…?_

_Yuki: (nods) __**DISCLAIMER.**__**I, Psycho Pocky do not own any of these characters below.**_

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I'm not a shota.

I'm not a shota.

I AM NOT A F*CKIN' SHOTA.

For pete's sake, I know that I'm coughtinycoughunseencoughandevencoughshort, but with shota as a stupid nickname, no. I refuse to be called with that silly nickname. I mean, look at me, I have abs, I have a perfect shaped MAN face, I have a smile that makes the whole girls in this school melts. Whatever, f*ck this.

"Ba! Hey Ba!" suddenly a familiar voice stung to my ear. Oh. It's only Wei with his long-beautiful-gorgeous-ponytail and the sound of the bell ringing. Eh? Class is over? "oh, hey Wei. Sup'?"I reply easily. "'Sup'?' what do you mean 'sup'?'?! This entire day you were like a zombie who is hungry for victim and now you are only—wait, don't tell me that you are falling in love now… so my little Ba has finally growing up…" Wei's eyes got wide.

What? Excuse me? Little Ba? What are you, my mom? "Wei, I'm not-"before I could even finish my sentences, Wei has already began his non-sense sentence, "I knew it! So, who is the loli, hm? Oh! Oh! Is it Xiao? Or Da? Or even Sanniang? ...or is it Shang Xia—" "NO, WEI. NO." well you see ladies and gentleman, my motherly friend here is dating Shang Xiang, the strongest and the most hot-headed girl at school. And yeah, he gets jealous easily. End of story.

Wei sighs and smiles at me, "oh, well that's a relieve" he gently pats my head. He's gonna get it. "Boyue~~~~" speak of the devil, here she is, Shang Xiang, Wei's um… true-benevolent-love. "ah, lady Shang Xiang" Wei greeted her with a gentle man smile. Hmph, mine's are better than him. Shang Xiang hugged Wei's right arm and, "Hm? Yo Bacchan~!" …What? WHAT? BACCHAN? I AM NOT A FRIGGIN' GRANDMA A.K.A OH-LADY-BENEVOLENT(A/N: "Bacchan" in Japan means Grandma). Okay, end of drama. As I growled, I reply her with a certain cold tone, "oh. Hey miss beautiful-aka-miss-that-has-abs". Wei then glared at me. "eh-ehem. Ba, Don't you have any manners?" I then fell to silence. Man… Wei can be scawy- I mean scary sometimes. Hah.

I can only grin and reply, "a-ahahaha, pardon me, miss abs—I mean, Shang Xiang~ I apologize what I was saying. I was only trying to make a joke that'll probably make you laugh but I guess I had the wrong words to choose, ahahaha~" I put my cute puppy eyes on just to make sure that Wei and miss-who-has-abs will melt by my cuteness. Hahaha, they fell for it! I knew it! I knew that I'm cute! Take that! Alright, that's enough.

Shang Xiang giggled and replied, "It's alright Bacchan, I know you were" I can see that Wei is pouting, how odd. Yeah, I have an odd friend. "say, are you coming with us to the new ice cream shop near the bookstore? My treat~" Shang Xiang offered. Ice cream shop, eh? Ahahaha…ha. WHAT THE HECK OF COURSE I'M COMING, IT'S 'FREE' ICE CREAM AND IT CAN'T BE WASTED.

I remain to keep my cool pose and face then smile awesomely, "Sure, why not?" Hah. Wei's cheeks will fall off if he keeps on pouting. Wait, did he just smirk just now? "Boyue? Are you alright?" Shang Xiang asked her beloved benevolent man with a concerned tone. "Hm? Why of course mi'lady" he finally stops smirking. Finally.

**~Background: Ice Cream Shop. Time: 5 P.M~**

As I, Shang Xiang and Wei arrived at the 'new' ice cream shop that Shang Xiang was talking about, Shang Xiang gave Wei some money which Wei refused to take it as he whisper something to Shang Xiang. Heh, I wonder what are they whispering about? Erm… Did Shang Xiang just giggle? They are freaking me out right now, really.

While Shang Xiang is busy trying to find a spot for us to sit (A/N: yeah, the ice cream shop is kinda full here), Wei was yelling at me like a mom for taking too much time just to decide which flavor I'm gonna take. What? I love all of the flavors so it's hard for me to take only one flavor. Then I finally decided, "I'll take the chocolate flavor please." Wei facepalmed and said, "That was the first opinion which I gave you, Ba" "Well it's hard for a man like me to decide some stuff", Wei can only shook his head. Well whatever.

After we order some ice cream, we then take a place that Shang Xiang has found for us to sit. I was about to eat my delicious looking chocolate ice cream, but then a wild-green-colored-uniform girl appears. "Jiang Wei?" the mysterious green uniformed girl asked the guy beside me, Wei. "Hm? Oh! It's you! Hey there, it has been a long time, hasn't it? How are you doing" well Wei seemed to know this girl. She then answered, "I'm perfectly fine Wei~" then looked at me with a pair of… sparkling eyes? "Wei! I didn't know you have a little brother! Aww~ Look at him! He's so cute! Hey, how old are you? What is your name?~ Are you from Shu elementary school?" The girl kept on giving me tons of question. I glare at the girl, okay I know I'm cute and short so people thought that I am an elementary school student but, KNOCK KNOCK MISS MYSTERIOUS, I'M NOT THAT SHORT. AND YOU SHOULD PROBABLY TAKE A GOOD LOOK AT MY UNIFORM. GAH, THAT'S IT. I'M GONNA DRINK SOME EXTRA MILK AND SPEND SOME EXTRA TIME FOR BASKETBALL PRACTICE. AND IF I MUST, I WILL JUMP ALL DAY LIKE AN IDIOT WHO HAD JUST WON NINE HUNDRED AND NINETY NINE BILLION DOLLARS FOR ONLY INCREASING MY HEIGHT. Okay, maybe I won't do the last part. My reputation of being the coolest, calmest and the most heckin' awesome guy at school will be ruin. Wei, I can see you snickering.

As I _again _keeping my cool pose, I reply awesomely, "I am truly sorry, but I am not an elementary school student nor Jiang Wei's younger brother. Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Xiahou Ba. I am a Junior at Wu High School. May I know your name, young lady?" At the end of the sentence I winked and smiled at the girl. Yeah, that's right, I'm sure within' few seconds she will blush madly as she let her heart out to me. Yeah, I am so awesome.

Huh? Why is she only staring at me and not blushing? 1….2….3….4…5… wha-? Why is she laughing? "Jiang Wei, have you spared _your words_ with your brother? He is such a gentleman. And a cute one too~" …Well Sh*t. I regain my awesomeness and reply, "I—" "just kidding! Ba right? Well it's nice to meet you Ba. My name is Guan Yinping. I am also a junior at my high school. Shu high school that is~" she then offer a hand to me, as I took it, we began to shake. Yinping from Shu Junior High School, eh?

"Oh, no I'm going to be late for the family reunion, well, see you around guys~" Yinping waved her hand to us before she left the ice cream shop. "Who was she?" Shang Xiang asked Wei. "She is a friend of mind back at junior high school. She's pretty popular, people know her as the cheerful girl." Wei answered. "Oh, I see" Shang Xiang nodded.

As the two FORGET that I am with them, I just ate my ice cream while listening to music from my mp3 player. Hey, I still have the heart you know. And a cute face. And an awesome smile. And abs. okay, I think that's enough of praises to myself.

"Ba, is it the time that you should fly away? I mean, it is getting dark". I twitched at Wei. "Geez Wei, first of all, I am a fifteen year old boy. Second, you are not my mother. Third, are you just playing some reasons so you could spend your time with Shang Xiang?" "Ba, don't tell me that you are jealous?", this guy is getting on my nerves.

I then stand up and leave the ice cream shop. Awesomely that is.

**~Background: Xiahou Ba's house. Time: 7 P.M~**

I enter my house with silence, then suddenly le wild father appears, "Hey son! How's school today?" yes, my father, Xiahou Yuan. "Not bad I guess" I shrugged at his question. "Oh I see, well I've made some dinner so go change and have dinner" My father smiled. I smiled back, "sure".

I then enter my room. My room is quite neat and tidy, even though I only clean my room once a week. Hey, even though I am a boy, that doesn't mean my room has to be messy and stink. I took the remote control for the AC and turned the device on. Then I sat at on my bed. Before I take a nice shower, I prepare my books which are scheduled for tomorrow's lesson. Oh, I accidently dropped my walle—wait, why is it that my wallet's so thin? I swear I have saved some money from the last month and another last month, and also this month. I have to check on it.

It is…..

Empty….?

WAIT WHAT? WHAT THE F*CK?!

I didn't spend much money at this month, all I did with my money was to buy some books and some other materials that I need for school. Unless….. Wei. Sh*t. I then face palmed, I got trolled by my own best motherly odd friend. Great. Just great. Congratulations to you Wei.

DAMN MYSELF FOR BEING A SHOTA, AND NOW I AM STUCK IN A SHOTA LUCK, IN A SHOTA BODY, IN A SHOTA LIFE.

"Son? Are you alright? Are you sick? Why is your room so messy?" Huh? …Oh dear, it seemed to me that I accidently kicking things _again_. "no… I'm alright dad…", like hell I am.

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_Alright, that is all for chapter one! So so so so so sorry if this fanfic is kinda lame, but I promise that I'll repair my mistakes at the second chapter! So, RnR please? D:_


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